Phew I say, my toddler is normal! But still something to work through and as it has become obvious through chatting with my local child health nurse maybe not the way we have been doing it. That is, Shaan (23 months) gets out of bed, I put him back to bed, he gets out of bed, hubby puts him back to bed, he cries lots, hubby sleeps next to him in his bed, he wanders into our room leaving hubby in his room and has a wrestling match with me trying to get into our bed, he wins and ends up sleeping next to me. One of the main reason this isn't working besides us not getting a lot of sleep is that if he's in our room he wakes up when I go to feed Dhiraj (4 months) and comes and looks for me. So he's not getting a lot of sleep.
According to this article, he needs to be learning how to self settle. It has also helped me to understand that toddlers sleep much lighter than adults and so wake more easily in between sleep cycles. My child health nurse did suggest moving back him back to a cot where he can't get out (hopefully). She thinks he's too young developmentally to be in a bed and is not able to exercise the self control needed to decide to stay in bed like Mum and Dad have asked him to. The getting out of bed (multiple times) is also a problem when he first goes to sleep.
From reading online forums it seems the age at which parents move a child from a cot to bed varies a lot. Anywhere from 18 months to 3 years old. Some kids cope great with the change and some don't. Kalyani was 2 1/2 years old when she first slept in a bed and she had no problems. Obviously the longer one leaves it the better!
So yes Shaan was probably too young to move from the cot to a bed (about 21 months old) but we wanted to use his cot for the baby. So considering all these factors we have decided to stick with the bed for now and instead try to be more consistent with putting him back to bed. Even though I was up 3 times to him last night (as well as Dhiraj) having a strategy helped me cope with the interruptions better. I have hope that one day I'll get a longer night's sleep! :)